Why we should jump into scary opportunities
“Next up is Elke”, said the MC of the open mic at a small bar in Fort Collins, Colorado. As I walked up to the stage, I noticed my knees shaking. My fingers were shaking and trembling too, so much that it was hard to find the right strings on the guitar – they felt like when I try to turn the door key with frozen hands on a winter day. But it wasn’t winter. The doors and windows were open, and I felt a soft August breeze brush against my legs. It was my first time performing at an open-mic night. I sang quite badly, as I forgot all the words and chords and my voice was shaking out of control. But I sang nonetheless and continued to perform at open mic nights the following weeks. After singing a few times at the open mic, a local drummer approached me and asked me to start a band with him. “A band? With me?” I thought. I had always wanted to be in a band, but the idea of it suddenly became very scary. He comforted me and said we could just practice a bit to test the waters. And so, it started.
Not long after, we had a four-member band, practicing weekly in our drummer’s garage.
Playing together had become slightly less terrifying, and I started finding joy and excitement in the creative process. I felt inspired to write songs, which came out like water from a leaking tap. The songwriting was boosted by many conversations with a friend I had recently made, who is a poet and a wizard with words. But when we were asked to play a show only a month or so after our first practice together, I did not feel ready at all. Some of the songs were half-finished, I wasn’t satisfied with most of them, I frequently forgot the words, and we had not fine-tuned our sound yet. We said yes regardless. To our surprise, the venue was packed out with all our friends from around town. The atmosphere was warm, supportive, and joyous. We played a 45-minute set, improvising and filling in gaps throughout. The crowd danced, cheered, clapped, laughed. We only played three more shows after that one over the course of a few months, before we were asked to play the biggest venue in town, which fits close to 800 people.
Still, most of our songs are not done yet. Still, we haven’t pinned down our sound. We haven’t recorded any of our songs. And although there is a small voice in my head that says we aren’t ready to play shows, I have learned that we can be ready even if our product isn’t. The world hands us opportunities every day; like standing by a highway with cars racing past. Do we jump on a car to hitch a ride and experience a new opportunity? Or do we look at them racing by? I could have waited until the right moment to start playing shows, but I am not sure if I would have known when a moment is right.
I suppose any moment is right as soon as we believe that we are capable, not when we actually are capable. Being a perfectionist has its benefits, particularly when dealing with dangerous situations. However, most of the time, we can refine and perfect ourselves while jumping on scary opportunities. That is how we move forward, how we make things happen, and how we learn new things about ourselves and others.
I sometimes find myself overthinking things. Should I do this one thing first, and then the other? How do I solve this problem in the best possible way? What really are my interests and goals? But I have since learned that time overthinking is better spent getting into action, despite our capabilities. And so, I’ll kindly shut my scared inner voice, and step into the unknown with open mind and open heart. Who knows what opportunities await me on the other side.
Elke
