Investing in my Personal Development – Becoming confident
It’s been three months since I arrived at Trails to Empowerment (TTE) community with little plan for my life. All I kinda knew was that I wanted to work with animals and half-formed ideas of being a published author. Exhausted from working long hours at two jobs, I really didn’t know what to expect when I arrived at the ranch in May. I embarked on my Guide School, excited to invest in my personal development and to absorb as much information and learn as many new skills as possible. Thinking my journey with the community would teach me to be a mountain horse back guide, but it also taught how to become more confident.
When I first arrived here, I was not very confident in myself and my abilities and had brought all my past anxieties with me. Because of this, I struggled to focus, or even define what I wanted to achieve from my time here. What were my goals and purposes? I didn’t know and I didn’t know how to talk about what I was feeling, so I brushed it off. Then, another intern told me I was only running away from my problems by coming here, instead of starting on the new life I wanted. And she was right. I was also missing out on personal development opportunities as I didn’t have a focus.
It was then I knew I needed to change myself and I had the perfect environment to do it. Here, I started reading Remarkable!, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and High Performance Habits, books on personal development and about the philosophies we promote within our community. I began to focus on myself and what I needed to do to be the person I wanted to be and what I wanted to achieve. With new focus, I made plans and timelines for my goals and set about improving myself. So, I started working on research and writing and rediscovered that drive to be a writer. I wanted to journal and publish my experiences here to show my journey and inspire others.
A couple of weeks ago, I was given the opportunity to lead a staff pack trip. I was nervous, mostly because the last time I had ridden around Eldorado was six weeks ago and I worried I would get everyone lost. Still, I was excited for the challenge. The trip was a great success, we had worked so well as a team and I returned to the ranch, being more confident in myself. In our weekly Transformational Journal Review, three of my group mentioned me as someone they had learned about leadership from, whether it was knowing when to ask for help, that it’s okay to admit that you don’t know everything or just being motivated to get out of bed at 5am to un-stake our horses in the grazing meadows after six hours’ sleep. Their words helped me to see even more how much I’d achieved in the pack trip. Although I was a little embarrassed to be praised in front of everyone, I couldn’t help smiling that my actions had had such a positive impact on my co-workers. This trip had not only contributed to their personal development, but also to mine. Next time I visited Eldorado, I would be confident leading the way.
Then, less than a week later, I guided two guests on a wildlife tracking pack trip around Eldorado. I was confident in my skills as a guide, but now my social skills would be tested as I worked to provide the best possible adventure for these guests. As Lead Guide, I led the ride to camp and was confident in finding the way. During the trip, I could share my knowledge of the area with the guests, tell my stories and listen to theirs. We scouted for grizzlies and mountain goats and recorded them on our wildlife sighting forms, something we do on every trip to record the number of animals in the area and how this changes over time. On the return to camp, we took a trail I had never ridden before, but I felt confident in my ability to lead my group in the right directions, following the trails I’d seen on the map and bring us safely home, which I did, even if towards the end I was less sure which was the right way. After this pack trip, I was more confident again. On this trip, providing this experience for the guests and playing my (admittedly small) part in the stewardship of the wildlife, I felt a part of the bigger picture. I wanted to document this experience and share it with others to inspire them in their own personal development or to reconnect them with nature and take the time to breathe in real, clean air.
When I first arrived here, I avoided video cameras and had very little to say for myself. Now, either through my own blog, or with the community podcasts and videos I have been involved in, I want to share those experiences and keep contributing to that bigger picture, helping others on their own personal development. This is just the beginning of my adventure and I’m excited to see where my choices will take me next. There will be challenges, but I am confident to face them and be successful.
Charlie, UK
